it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You left your phone here
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