I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
