I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
