vagina is talking i cant
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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