Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
