that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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