was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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