I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
