waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
