My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
