so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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