he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
