Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
