Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
