Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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