So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
