I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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