I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
