he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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