Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
