I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
