question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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