Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
