i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
