Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize