I wanna bring you to show and tell
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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