What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
