He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
