Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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