His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
