I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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