I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just want nice things and good sex
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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