ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
