someone get that fucking seahorse.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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