Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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