Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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