i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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