I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
