her vagine was all disorganized.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
