at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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