i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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