I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
