like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize