My first STD was from a foam party
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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