I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
