I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
