Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize