I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize