yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
