and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
