Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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