The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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