I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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