Jerry, you need to find god
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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