cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
