i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
