But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
