Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize