D3 body, D1 cock
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
