Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The air was thick with penises
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize