god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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