I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
