We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I deserve to be covered in dicks
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
