The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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