it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
