It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
